Snake Bandit - YA Rockstar Read online

  “Been involved?” he asked incredulously. “What would give her that idea?”

  “Because you call me sugar tits, you prick. Why do you think?”

  Abbie nodded. “She asked me whether I minded that Daddy and Uncle Jake had been ‘a thing’ before I came along.”

  “Fuck off!” Jake rubbed a hand down his face. “No way, she does not think we’ve been a couple.”

  “Sorry buddy, but she does,” Tom replied solemnly. “She told me that she’s glad I’ve experienced all kinds of love as it’ll make me a much more rounded person.”

  Jake’s eyes widened as he looked from Abbie to Tom. “Seriously? She’s fucking eleven, where the hell does she get that shit from? You’re lying right.”

  They both shook their heads.

  “Christ, I need something stronger to drink.” Jake pushed up from his chair. “Is the JD in the dining room?”

  “Yep,” Tom answered. “Bring some glasses too.”

  Once Jake had disappeared into the house, they all burst out laughing until tears were forming at the corners of their eyes.

  “You’re mean,” Amber said, holding her sides. “He’ll be traumatised all night now.”

  “Traumatised by the thought of swapping love juices with Tom,” Skins said, laughing even harder than he was before.

  “Hey,” Abbie cried. “There’s nothing wrong at all with swapping love juices with Tom. In fact, it’s the best thing ever.”

  Tom leaned over and kissed her, maybe a little longer than necessary.

  “Ugh, Dad,” Harrison shouted over. “Leave Mum alone, purleeeese.”

  Tom waved him away and went back to kissing his wife.

  “Anyway,” Stacey said, picking up her glass of wine. “How did Rocco take the idea of the summer job?”

  Martha grimaced. “It went down like a lead balloon. What about Ethan, how was he when you told him he’s going to be washing dishes for the summer?”

  “Sulky and extremely distraught.” Stacey laughed and looked over at the kids, who were all arguing about whether Ethan pushing Jackson, his younger brother, on his backside was worth a penalty. “It’s tough though, he’s been totally disrespectful. Not only to us but to the girls he’s had the one-night stands with.”

  Luke, Tom and Skins all looked extremely sheepish at Stacey’s words. They’d all had their fair share of one-night stands—usually with the groupies who used to hang around backstage after their gigs; the boys seemed to be repeating history.

  “I dread Harrison getting older,” Abbie groaned. “If he’s anything like Tom was, my life is going to be awful.”

  Martha sighed. “We’re all going to have to go through it again soon enough.”

  “Oh don’t,” Amber groaned. “I just know Hendrix is going to be a nightmare, the teenage girls around here already think he’s one of the wonders of the world.”

  “And don’t get me started on Gigi and Lessie—.”

  “No one is going to touch my girls,” Luke interrupted. “In fact, I’m thinking a girl’s school in Alaska might be an option.”

  Martha grinned and grabbed Luke’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “You can’t lock them up forever, babe.”

  Luke grimaced and looked over at the football game that had started up again. “I fucking can.”

  “Hey,” Skins said. “You remember that Christmas party you had, and Jake almost killed that little kid for holding hands with Eliza.”

  “Oh God, yes,” Amber replied, looking into the distance as she recalled the memory. “They were only about three or four and he took the poor child for a walk and gave him a lecture.”

  “Poor Eliza,” Stacey sighed. “She’s going to have real problems when she starts dating.”

  “She won’t!” Jake had returned with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and some glasses. “Because she’s not going to be allowed out of the house until she’s forty at least. And God help the little fucker that tries.”

  With that, they all sighed and watched as the kids all fell about laughing as Rocco tried to head the ball and fell into another heap on the grass.

  “I don’t want them to grow up,” Martha whispered. “I want them to stay like this forever—happy and enjoying life with each other. Not a care in the world.”

  “No,” Skins said, as he flicked another peanut. “Not a care, except how to get cold egg off a plate and whether you’ve got the energy to do the tenth coffee run of the day. No, not one fucking care.”

  Chapter 5

  The day after the barbeque, Rocco was sitting in front of Luke, staring down at the schedule he’d been given. It was full, from early morning until late into the evening, and Rocco was not happy.

  “Shit, Papa, this sucks. You’ve got me working until almost nine at night. Some of these days are fifteen hours. And that doesn’t include the nights where you decide to stay late because you have to get a melody, or a stage block sorted.”

  Luke nodded. “Yeah, I know, so what’s your problem?”

  “My problem is that I’m doing it for nothing, and I’ll be knackered.”

  “Yeah, just like we will be.”

  “But you’re going to get thousands, no millions of pounds for it—I’m not.”

  “And if you’d obeyed mine and your mum’s rules, we might have offered you an opportunity to work for us for the summer and actually paid you. As it is, there’s no pay and no allowance. And it’s for charity, so no, we’re not getting paid – it’s all on us. So, like I said, no pay and no allowance.”

  Rocco stared up at his father, wanting to argue and storm out, but not having the nerve. His papa was old school Italian in many ways and respect was one of the things he demanded.

  “No allowance at all?” Rocco asked, fighting against the anger that threatened to burst out in a torrent of swear words.

  “Nope. Not one fucking penny.”

  Rocco’s mouth dropped open as he considered what Luke was saying. Okay, he knew he’d broken the rules, but to make him work for nothing was a fucking joke. It wasn’t like his father was the epitome of a moralistic celibate. Even now, he knew that when his parents went to bed early, it wasn’t to get their beauty sleep – the lock on their bedroom door was firmly bolted almost every time they stepped into it. That thought, however, raised a little bile in Rocco’s throat. They shouldn’t be doing things like that at their age.

  “But you were always with different women,” Rocco blurted out. “You had loads of one-night stands, if Wikipedia and the gossip magazines are anything to go by.”

  He knew he was clutching at straws, but he would not go down without a fight, and if he could persuade anyone, it was his papa. His mum, however, was a totally different proposition.

  Luke seemingly unmoved, glared at his son.

  “I never, ever, disobeyed my father or the rules that he and your nonna, put in place. I admit I wasn’t always the best of sons, but I didn’t disrespect them or your Auntie Gabriella by bringing my hook-ups into the house. Can’t say I didn’t have them, but at least I kept to the rules. You were told, on numerous occasions, not to bring them home, yet you still did—hence a summer of working for us, for nada bank.”

  Rocco opened his mouth to speak but seeing the look of grim determination on Luke’s face, thought better of it. He knew this time that he was in real trouble. His papa was evidently angrier than Rocco had imagined, either that or his fierce little mum had warned what would happen if Luke gave in.

  “Can’t I just work at the hotel with Ethan?”

  Luke shook his head. “Not a fucking chance. I’ve told Skins he’s being too soft letting Ethan work there where he can’t keep an eye on him. Nope, sorry son, but you’re my bitch for the summer—oh and Jake’s, Tom’s and Skins’.”

  “I bet Uncle Jake thinks this is hilarious, doesn’t he?”

  Luke grinned and nodded.

  “Great. I can’t fucking wait.” Rocco jutted out his bottom lip and kicked at the floor.

  “Watch your lan
guage,” Luke said, with a hint of a smile. “And if you scuff that wood you’ll be in more trouble with your mother.”

  “You swear in front of me,” Rocco protested, ignoring the comment about the floor.

  “Oh Rocco,” Luke said with a grin. “When will you learn, no matter what I do, you still have to do as I say. I’m the papa and you’re the kid, even when you’re eighty.”

  “Yeah, but you’ll be dead then,” Rocco huffed.

  “Ah, but I might just haunt you. Make your life a misery.”

  Luke chuckled, thoroughly enjoying seeing his son squirm. At times Rocco could be a cocky little shit, and needed to be brought down to earth. Luke and Martha weren’t soft parents, so he worried often about Rocco’s attitude – then again, he did remind Luke of his younger self, so he had no one but himself to blame.

  “Yeah, whatever,” Rocco spat out petulantly.

  Luke smiled as he watched his son read his schedule again with a pout. Yep, he loved that boy to distraction, but he was a little shit who needed to be taught a lesson.

  “Papa this is fu-flipping shit.” Rocco looked up at Luke, flashing his puppy dog eyes, hoping to change his father’s mind.

  “That won’t work on me, son,” Luke replied with a shake of his head. “I do not have a vagina and I’m immune to the little lost boy look. That’s your schedule and you’re sticking to it.”

  Rocco knew that there was no point in arguing – his fate had been decided.

  “Now, I suggest you go and see your friends for your last day of freedom.”

  Luke moved over to his office door, opened it and nodded towards the hallway.

  “Off you go.”

  Rocco huffed as he heaved himself out of his seat, pushing the piece of paper in his hand, into his jeans’ pocket. He flashed narrow eyes at Luke as he walked past him, but Luke simply grinned and chuckled like a pantomime villain.

  Sloping into the kitchen, Rocco found his siblings sitting around the table, all with their hands stuffed into packets of crisps.

  “Mum will kill you if you’ve eaten all the Smokey Bacon,” he grumbled, flicking Rafa’s earlobe.

  “Oi, dickhead.” Rafa threw him a glare, before turning back to his snack. “She let me have this one bag—she’s hidden the rest.”

  “I have no idea how you can eat such vile things,” Lessie said, screwing up her tiny nose and peering into her own packet. “There’s probably about as much pork in them as there is in me.”

  Rafa and Gigi both spat out a mouthful of crisps, while Rocco let out a huge belly laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” Lessie asked, looking up at them, her face etched with confusion.

  “Nothing pipsqueak. Nothing at all.” Gigi grinned widely and patted her little sister’s knee.

  “No way. Fucking pork,” Rafa gasped holding his sides and spilling crisps over the side of the bag onto the table.

  “Oh God, don’t,” Rocco laughed. “I don’t wanna think about it. She’s only a kid.”

  “What the hell is so funny?” Lessie demanded, looking at each of her siblings in turn.

  “Pork. In you.” Rafa looked at her wide eyed, his shoulders still shaking.

  Lessie thought about it and then slammed a hand on the table. “Oh my God, you lot are disgusting. You do know I’m only eleven, don’t you?”

  “We’re sorry, Lessie,” Gigi said, pulling her into a hug. “Ignore us.”

  Lessie squirmed out of her sister’s hold and went back to her crisps.

  “What you all doing in here, anyway?” Rocco asked, pulling out a seat and parking his backside in it. “And where’s Mum and Nonna?”

  Whenever all four Mahoney kids were home, Nonna was usually amongst them, laughing and joking and simply enjoying her grandchildren.

  “Gone shopping. Nonna wants some new shoes or something,” Gigi answered.

  “I don’t know why she just doesn’t admit her corns hurt her,” Lessie added. “But she will insist on wearing those ridiculous shoes all the time.”

  “Have you ever seen Nonna in slippers?” Rafa looked to Rocco.

  “Nope. Never have and probably never will.” He picked up a round place mat from the middle of the table and twirled it around between his thumb and forefinger. “Anyway, what are you losers going to do for the rest of the day?”

  Lessie shrugged, Rafa ignored him, belched and screwed up one bag while reaching for another packet of crisps.

  “I’m meeting Eliza.” As she said it, Gigi eyed her brother, wondering whether he’d feel annoyed that his kid sister was meeting up with one of his best friends, but Rocco showed no sign of caring.

  “Well, I’m going round to see Ethan for, as Papa calls it, my last day of freedom.”

  “You got your summer timetable?” Gigi asked with a huge grin.

  Rocco nodded and sighed. “Yeah, it’s fucking hideous.”

  “Well, I did try and warn you.”

  Gigi sighed inwardly. She had told Rocco he was risking their papa’s wrath by insisting on bringing girls home, but, as usual, he thought his charm would get him out of trouble. How stupid could he be – their father was Luke Mahoney, the rock star with a reputation for not taking shit from anyone, least of all his horny teenage son.

  “I need a plan of action,” Rocco groaned.

  “What sort of plan?” Rafa asked, finishing off his second packet of crisps.

  He reached for another bag but was foiled when Gigi tsked and pulled the multi-pack from his reach.

  “Who made you the crisp police?”

  “Mum,” Gigi snapped. “When she said she’d make lunch when she got back and also said, ‘don’t let your brother eat too much crap while I’m gone’. That’s who.”

  “Crisps aren’t crap. They’re amazing.”

  “You talk crap, I know that much,” Lessie sighed, pushing her chair back. “I’m bored so I’m going to annoy Papa. Who wants to come with?”

  Rafa blew out a breath and looked at his older siblings. “Yeah, I’ll come. This pair are snorrendously boring.” He flashed a grin at Rocco and Gigi and got up from his chair. “Have a yawntastic day, tossers.”

  “Just because you can’t go out drinking and screwing, Rafa, doesn’t mean you can act like a little shit towards your older and better, brother and sister.” Rocco made to punch Rafa in his stomach but pulled away at the last second.

  “Whatever. Later, losers.”

  “Oh, Rafa, shut up,” Lessie groaned, pulling at his arm. “Put that brain of yours in gear to think of ways to irritate Papa.”

  As the two youngest Mahoney kids left the kitchen, Gigi shook her head.

  “Why does she insist on winding Papa up?”

  Rocco shrugged. “No idea, but Papa loves it anyway. I heard him tell Nonna that arguing with Lessie keeps him young.”

  Gigi smiled as she thought about what Rocco had said. They were lucky to have the parents that they had. Yes, they could be strict, but all of them knew that if they needed anything at all, no matter what time of day, or where they were in the world, their mum and papa would go running. If truth be told, they all would, even stroppy little Lessie.

  “Hey, you want some help during the summer?” she asked Rocco.

  He pulled back and stared at Gigi with wide, emerald green eyes, just like his father’s. “You do know they are going to work me like a bitch, for no money at all?”

  Gigi lifted a shoulder. “So, it’ll be a good experience. It might be fun if we both do it.”

  “As if Papa would let you help me anyway. This is my punishment, Gee, not yours.”

  Gigi leaned across the table, closer to her brother.

  “How about I ask him if I can do it as a summer job, you know, get paid for it?”

  “That’s fucking worse,” Rocco growled. “You’ll be pullin’ strips doing the same job that I’m doing for nothing. So no, I don’t think so, little sis.”

  “Oh Rocco,” Gigi said with a disdainful shake of the head. “When will you lea
rn to use that brain of yours and not just your penis?”

  “Firstly, I do use my brain, I just don’t know what you’re getting at. Secondly, who the fuck calls it a penis under the age of fifty?”

  “I am not calling my brother’s penis a cock. That’s just wrong. Ugh.” Gigi shuddered.

  “Whatever, just tell me what you’re getting at, Gee.”

  “What I’m saying,” she sighed. “Is that I’ll get Papa to pay me and then I’ll split it with you – sixty, forty.”

  Rocco tilted his head to one side and scrutinised his sister. “Who gets the sixty percent?”

  Gigi sighed inwardly at her brother’s stupidity in thinking she was an idiot.

  “What did I say about using your brain, Rocco?” she replied, rolling her eyes. “I do of course. It’s my idea.”

  Rocco opened his mouth to protest, but Gigi held her hand up.

  “It’s that or I don’t ask him, and you have to work on your own all summer, with the four of them making you work harder than the Odor Eaters in your trainers.”

  “My feet do not fucking smell,” Rocco blasted. “It was that one time when I wore those fucking shoes I got off Ebay. How was I to know they were knock off and not real leather?”

  “Duh, because they looked as plastic as the tits on most of your hook-ups.”

  Rocco curled his lip at her and sighed. “Fine. Sixty-forty to you, but the work is done fifty-fifty.”

  Gigi thought about it for a moment and then nodded. “Okay. If Papa says yes, I’m in.”

  Rocco held out his hand for Gigi. “Deal.”

  Taking Rocco’s hand and shaking it, Gigi smiled and thanked the music Gods up above that Rocco was a little self-obsessed. If her big brother had no idea that she had a massive crush on the lead singer of her papa’s support band, Alchemy Dream, then neither would her papa, because Rocco never missed anything where she was concerned.

  Yes, Gigi thought, it was going to be a great summer.

  Chapter 6

  As Eliza sat back in her chair, taking a sip of her hot chocolate, the bell on the coffee shop door tinkled. She looked up, expecting to see Gigi. She was due to meet her at any minute, but when her gaze wandered over, she saw Freddie Price filling the doorway instead. Freddie was her pre-school ‘boyfriend’, who had apparently caused her dad sleepless nights. Eliza grinned, both at Freddie and the thought of her dad whom she adored. He had always been protective, but was especially so when it came to boys, and Freddie Price was one boy he paid particular attention to and had done since they were four years of age.