Do You Do Extras? (An American in the UK Book 1) Read online

Page 3


  “Well she did.” I pouted as Penny blotted my cheeks and forehead to remove the shine.

  “She’s real pretty.” Penny grinned and winked at me.

  “Keep your hands off. If I get her thrown off this damn set, I don’t want to have to socialize with her because you’ve hooked up with her.”

  Tall, tatted, and gorgeous, Penny liked girls and girls, both gay and straight, seemed to like her - a great deal. In fact, I’d known many straight girls who jumped in the sack with Penny – she had an innate sexual chemistry that oozed from her. I should know. I hit on her on our first night out together, on my first Addison Yates film. She soon put me straight – so to speak.

  “I’m jokin’ honey. She’s a knife, no doubt about it.”

  Penny liked to use a cutlery analogy for women’s sexual orientation. Straight women were knives, bi-sexual ones were forks, and gay ones were spoons – you get the idea.

  “She’s still pretty hot though. Don’t you think?” She grinned at me.

  “Haven’t noticed,” I replied.

  “And I call bullshit.”

  “What the fuck is it with people calling me a liar today?” I moved away, shrugging away Penny’s hand. “Are we done?”

  “So you do think she’s hot?” She tapped the end of my nose with one of her brushes. “And she drives you crazy. Boy this is going to be fun.”

  Penny walked away giggling like a fucking girl.

  “You ready, Grantley?” the Third Assistant Director called. “We’re going to shoot the office scene first.”

  “Be right with you.”

  The Third AD nodded and went back over to Alexi Rodrigo, who looked to be making changes to the shooting order with the First AD. I glanced over at my new nemesis, who was having photographs taken for continuity. I couldn’t believe I was going to have to act in a scene with her. At least she only had three lines before Addison dismissed her from the office. Even I could be professional for three lines of dialogue.

  A few minutes later, myself, the extra girl, and Don Paisley, a seventies icon movie star who played Addison’s boss, were all on our marks, ready to go.

  “And action!”

  “You sure this information is correct, Arthur?” I pointed at the papers in my hands that were supposed to be the business and bank files of a drug and people trafficking ring, running under the guise of a British Software company.

  “Imelda is the best hacker in the business.” Don, playing Arthur my boss, turned to the ass pain playing Imelda.

  She was dressed in a black pant suit with a white blouse underneath. It was pretty tight and I had to be honest, she had some pretty sexy curves. The black, bobbed wig and scarlet lipstick were hot too, it was just a pity she was so annoying.

  “I thought the guy who created their software was a genius? Doesn’t he go by the name of Red Wizard, or something?”

  I delivered my line to Don, half turning my back on ’Imelda’. She then pushed my shoulder and stared me straight in the eye to reply.

  “I can assure you Mr. Yates, I know what I’m doing. Andrew Green, or Red Wizard, whatever you want to call him, may well be a genius, but he’s no match for me – I can promise you that.”

  “I’m sure you can, Imelda.” With a deep, sultry whisper, I delivered what was supposed to be a flirty line, perfectly. So perfectly in fact, I saw Imelda squirm a little. I couldn’t help but smirk at her – I’d turned her on. So much so, she missed her next line.

  “Cut!” Alexi shouted. “Sweetness, is there a problem? You have three lines, please don’t tell me you’ve forgotten them.”

  “Take a breath, Phoebe.” Don said, being his usual kindly, gentlemanly self.

  So, her name was Phoebe. It sounded a little like some sort of tropical plant, but it was kind of cute and suited her. Fuck, what the hell was my brain doing – thinking she was cute just because I could see what a fine ass and tits she has. Okay, I was officially shallower than a kid’s pool in the park, but a man can’t help being a man.

  Phoebe took the breath that Don suggested, nodded, and stood back on her mark.

  “Okay quiet everyone,” Alexi shouted. “Let’s go again.”

  This time she delivered her lines perfectly. A little stilted maybe, but you could hardly get into the psyche of the character in three lines. Shit, I was defending her as well as calling her cute. That get-up she had on must have had some magical sex scent sprayed all over it.

  “You’re happy then?” Don/Arthur asked.

  “Yeah, I’m happy.” I turned to Imelda/Phoebe and gave her a chin lift. “You can go now, Imelda.”

  Imelda nodded, turned, and walked out of shot. I couldn’t help but look at her ass and almost choked.

  “What the fuck,” I gasped.

  Pinned to the back of her jacket, was a piece of paper with, “Grantley is full of Bull sh*t” on the back.

  “Cut! What the hell, Grantley?” Alexi ran a hand through his unruly curls. “What’s wrong?”

  “Sorry, but she kinda put me off.” I pointed in the direction of where Phoebe had disappeared between a camera and a boom operator. “Did you not see it?”

  “Not see what?”

  “On her back.”

  I paced forward, ready to go and search for the little minx, but was stopped by Alexi’s booming voice.

  “Take it from your line again. Phoebe, get back on your mark.”

  Phoebe appeared and walked toward us with a grin on her face.

  “Turn around,” I blasted at her.

  “Grantley, man,” Alexi said from his chair to our right, “we need to get this scene down. I have another thirty fucking indoor scenes to do today.”

  “I think I’m shining.” Don said, raising his hand.

  “But her back,” I blustered.

  Phoebe made a show of turning around and looking over her shoulder.

  “Is there something wrong with my jacket?” she asked in all innocence.

  “Can I get make-up, please?” Don called like a diva.

  “Don’t give me that shit,” I hissed, leaning in closer to her. “What did you do with the sign Phoebe?”

  She shrugged as she chewed on her top lip.

  “I should damn well get you thrown off this fucking set.”

  “Okay, guys. We all ready?” Don asked, returning from having his make-up touched up.

  We ran the scene again and this time it went without a hitch. Phoebe left and as she stood out of shot, I was desperate to grab hold of her and find out what the fuck she’d been playing at.

  Once we finished a couple more scenes, we broke for lunch and I went on the warpath looking for her. I found her queueing at the buffet table. Without thinking, or caring what anyone thought, I grabbed Phoebe by the elbow and pulled her out of the line.

  “Hey,” she cried. “I was almost at the front of the queue.”

  “Tough shit.”

  I stormed to the back of the dining hall, dragging her with me.

  “I should fucking fire your ass,” I growled as we stopped near the exit door. “I’m the lead on this damn movie and you do not mess with me.”

  “Oh, it was a joke,” Phoebe huffed, “but if you have no sense of humour, that’s not my fault.”

  “I have a sense of humor, sweetheart, but not when I’m working. If you can’t be professional then you should not be on this set.”

  I stared at her, giving her my most vicious snarl. Props to the girl, she stood tall and her gaze never wavered.

  “I’m sorry, okay,” she finally snapped. “I thought it might make you laugh after what happened earlier.”

  “Yeah, well it didn’t.” I thrust my hands into my suit pants’ pockets and leaned the top half of my body forward. “And you pull another fucking stunt like that and I swear to God, you’ll be off this fucking movie and I’ll make sure you never get any work ever again.”

  “That’s a bit harsh.” she replied with a gasp. “It’s not like I murdered your mother or anything.”


  I snorted, knowing that if she had, I’d probably be getting her a starring role, not threatening to get her kicked off set.

  “That should show you just how seriously I take my work.”

  Phoebe rolled her eyes and huffed. “Fine. I’ll be on my best behaviour for the rest of the shoot.”

  “Just be grateful I’m in a good mood.”

  Her eyes widened and she snorted out a laugh.

  “Sorry,” she said, when I gave her a warning look. “I’ll behave I promise. It was quite funny though, don’t you think?”

  “No, I fucking don’t. I’m a serious actor and you’re making me look like a dick.”

  Phoebe chewed on her lip and considered me. “Hmm, I think, to be honest, not wishing to sound rude, but you’re doing that yourself. I mean, come on it was a joke – everyone plays jokes on the first day of shooting.”

  “Not on my movies they don’t. Do I make myself clear?”

  She saluted me and nodded. “Yes, sir.” She stamped a foot. “I’ll make sure I behave sir.”

  My jaw tightened and I knew my dentist was going to give me shit about grinding my teeth.

  “Just make sure you do.”

  I pushed away from her and stormed across the dining hall, no longer in the mood for lunch. I couldn’t believe how much she’d pissed me off.

  I had a good sense of humor.

  I could take a joke.

  I could laugh at most things, but I couldn’t get the vision of her fucking ass out of my head.

  Phoebe

  Grantley James did not take my little joke well – at all. In fact, I’d say it was an epic fail of gargantuan proportions.

  Penny, the make-up girl, thought it was hilarious when I showed her and explained why I was doing it. She said he’d ‘love it’. Yeah well, he didn’t.

  But what did I care?

  Actually, an awful lot if he followed through and got me thrown off set.

  I needed to help Beth with the mortgage because, yet again, Steven had failed to transfer the child support he was supposed to pay. To be honest, Beth was lucky if she ever got any, but after five months of no money at all, and payments before that being sporadic to say the least, she’d finally consulted a family solicitor. Two days after the solicitor’s letter was sent, Beth received a paltry three hundred pounds into her account, but nothing since.

  I’d tried to tell her to take the stupid arse to court, but she always said she didn’t have the time or energy. She’d only consulted a solicitor because he was a friend of Angela’s husband. I went with her and had to admit, the solicitor was pretty hot and hoped maybe I could do a little match-making for my gorgeous sister, but Mr. Devine was well and truly married.

  Anyway, I digress – again. I needed the money and could not afford to be sacked because Grantley James had zero sense of humour and walked around as though he had a banana up his arse. He was a miserable git and well and truly played the part of spoiled film star perfectly.

  “Hey hunni.”

  I turned to see Penny walking towards me with a worried look on her face.

  “I am so sorry. I honestly thought he’d laugh it off.”

  “It’s fine,” I sighed. “I just have to behave or he’s going to get me thrown off the film.”

  Penny shook her head. “I know he can be difficult, but he can take a joke, usually. I’m real sorry, I truly am.”

  “Honestly, Penny please don’t worry. You’re not the one who frog-marched me from the canteen in front of everyone.”

  “He didn’t?” Penny’s nostrils flared and as she inhaled a deep breath, the snake tattooed across the swell of her breasts rippled as though it was real.

  “Wow.” I gasped.

  “You looking at my titties or my tatties?” Penny asked with a huge grin.

  “What?”

  I looked up, my mouth gaping.

  “You looking at my tits or my tattoos, hunni?”

  She pointed at the snake with one finger and her left boob with the other.

  “Oh God, your tattoos, every time. Not that you don’t have nice boobs, you do, but…” I trailed off, swirling my finger in the vicinity of Penny’s boobs.

  “Relax, I know it’s not my tits that interest you. Thanks for the compliment about the tats though. My brother does them when I’m back in Dallas.”

  “Do they hurt?” I asked, leaning forward to peer at the tattoo of an apple on her neck – the apple the snake was obviously heading for. For something so simple, it was amazingly life-like and looked almost 3D.

  “Kind of like an angry kitty constantly scratching you. You got any?”

  “No, I don’t have any pets.”

  She burst out laughing. “No tattoos, hunni, not cats.”

  I shook my head. “Oh right. Nooo, too scared.”

  “Well maybe if you’re ever in Dallas, I’ll hook you up with Benny, my brother. Or even his ex-boss, Dex. He has a studio, Heaven & Ink, around here somewhere. I could find the address for you.”

  I shook my head. “No thanks, but one thing. Your brother is called Benny?” I asked, sputtering out a laugh.

  Penny rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Our parents never thought of the consequences of our names being shortened. Anyway,” she said glancing at the huge watch on her wrist, “I gotta go and touch up Harriet - again.”

  I grimaced thinking about Harriet Hinckley- the middle-aged, ex-musical theatre actress who was playing one of the ‘bad guys’ in the film. She tended to sweat profusely and I knew make-up generally had to touch up her make-up for almost every shot.

  “Poor Harriet,” I replied. “I wonder if she’s menopausal.”

  Penny laughed and shook her head. “I have no idea, but whatever it is, I’ve had to designate a set of brushes and sponges just for her – no one wants to be touched up with a damp brush.”

  I shuddered at the thought. “Okay. You’d better go.”

  “But listen, don’t worry about Grant. He really is a good guy, he just forgets he’s allowed to be a normal human being at times.”

  “Hmm, most times.”

  “He really is okay. He’ll warm to you, you’ll see.”

  Penny gave my shoulder a squeeze and walked away, leaving me wondering whether torturing Grantley with a match under his feet qualified as him warming to me.

  Grantley

  "Cut!" Alexi called. "Get that in the can please. Okay everyone let's take a break for lunch. We'll do the street chase scene in one hour. We've got around two hours before rain is forecast people, so don't be late to the outside lot."

  As Alexi strode away, I stood and waited for Penny to come over and stick some tissue into the collar of my shirt, so as not to get make-up on it during lunch, seeing as I would be in the same outfit for my street chase scene. I always felt like a complete tool walking around with it floating around my neck, but it was kind of necessary.

  "Hey honey," Penny said as she approached me. "Nice work there."

  I shrugged. "It won't win me an Oscar, but thanks. So, how's your day going so far?"

  "Meh, you know, okay I guess."

  "How so?" I asked, craning my neck to allow Penny access to my collar.

  "I got blown off by a really cool girl last night. I thought we were on the same page, but turns out we weren't."

  "Ooh Penny Wade crashed and burned, totally unacceptable."

  "Yep sure is." Penny laughed and stood back. "All done, now you can go get lunch."

  "So, this girl, would I like her? Is it worth me giving her a call?"

  Penny folded her arms across her chest and shook her head. "You really are one big ego, aren't you?"

  "Hey, I'm just a realist. The ladies like me."

  "Well this one wouldn't. She's most definitely a spoon, but seemingly, I'm not big enough or butch enough for her."

  "Ah okay. Well, her loss." I leaned forward and kissed Penny's forehead. "One day your princess will come."

  "I'll sure have some fun while I'm waiting though.
Okay, I'm gonna grab some chow. You coming?"

  I nodded and waved for her to go ahead and followed behind. As we reached the dining room, I heard cursing behind us. Turning around to see who had such a foul mouth, I saw the pain in my ass; Phoebe. She was looking down at her cell and stabbing her finger at the screen, while strutting toward us.

  "Hey, shouldn’t you watch where you're going?" I called. "Last time you were so engrossed in your phone, you nearly killed me."

  Phoebe's head shot up. "What?"

  "I take it you mean pardon?"

  "Oh shit," Penny groaned. "I'm too hungry to stand here and watch you peacocking. I'll see you in there."

  "What?" I asked, turning around to see her disappearing through the door.

  "I take it you mean pardon?"

  I turned back to Phoebe to see her watching me with a shit eating grin.

  "You really are a pain in my ass, aren't you?" I questioned.

  "I have no idea what you mean. Anyway, you were the one listening to my private conversation."

  Frowning, I shook my head. "You weren't even talking to anyone. You were cursing to yourself. Sounding like a New York dockhand, I might add."

  "Oh, I'm sorry if I upset your sensitive nature. I'll be sure to keep my mouth shut in the future."

  Then she damn well clicked her tongue at me and rolled her eyes.

  "Did you just roll your eyes at me?" I accused, thrusting my hands to my hips.

  "No," she lied, "you're seeing things. Maybe you need glasses."

  "I already have them for reading. I know what I saw."

  Phoebe grinned. "Wow, do you? I would never have imagined you in spectacles. Did you find it difficult to find a pair to suit you?"

  "No. Why?" I asked incredulously, wondering whether she was always so random.

  "It's just...no, I shouldn't really say."

  I gave a long exhale. "You may as well say it now, otherwise I'll forever be damn well wondering until my dying day."

  "Now you're just being sarcastic."